Moments that Matter

Daoists believe that the wisest man in the world would not have respect and fame, but rather would appear insane to the casual observer. I have always admired Daoism, but my own brush with insanity 8 months ago has changed my understanding in ways that I don’t think any sane person could imagine. When my brain misfired, I had the happiest moments of my life. But more importantly, I realized the key to a happy life.
Nothing about my situation was good, or even real for that matter. I was arrested, restrained, institutionalized, and even made friends with 2 imaginary people named Mark and Joe (and I still remember exactly what they look like). Any “rational” person in that situation would be completely miserable as more and more power was taken away from them, but I chose to make friends with the police officers that arrested me, pretend to be an escape artist when I was bound, and made imaginary friends when I was put in a secured room at the hospital. I had achieved a brain chemistry that absolutely refused to see anything that happened to me as negative.

Time itself distorted. I found myself deeply grateful for each passing second and I felt like I was learning all the secrets of the universe by just sitting and doing nothing. I became aware that every moment is a given moment; a gift. It is a gift that I have no way of earning or bringing about, or of assuring that there will be another moment given. Most of the time we are given opportunity to enjoy our moments and we only miss these opportunities because we are rushing through life and not stopping to see them.

What I have learned since my manic episode is that happiness is not about having what you want. It is about wanting what you have. Life is a compilation of moments and each moment lasts an eternity. What you choose to do with those moments is what will determine the overall quality of your life. It isn’t what you have that matters. It is what you do with it. The secret to the universe is not money, fame, justice, or equality. The secret is your brain; the vessel which filters an otherwise meaningless universe into thoughts, patterns, and purpose. All of the problems of the world start here. If we are to truly unlock our potential as individuals and as a species, it is time to take our focus away from the things that plague us externally and learn to, above all, find peace within ourselves.

“When the mind is at peace,
the world too is at peace.
Nothing real, nothing absent.
Not holding on to reality,
not getting stuck in the void,
you are neither holy nor wise, just
an ordinary fellow who has completed his work.” -P'ang Yun (Layman P'ang)